


two bros chillin’ in a motorhome

by singlemalter



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Banter, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 18:25:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlemalter/pseuds/singlemalter
Summary: What’s better than this? Guys being dudes.





	two bros chillin’ in a motorhome

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: frat bro behaviour, no homo energy, brief mention of (legal) age gaps, horrible references.

He’s not particularly upset by this situation, but he’d like to know how he ended up with the dorkiest arriviste in the paddock perched on his lap.

“Right,” Dan says, looking anywhere except down. The motorhome’s ceiling is just so enthralling. “What is this?”

“Just having some fun,” Lando says conversationally, his hands on Dan’s shoulders. “Fun between bros, man.”

“This,” Dan drawls, pointing out the increasingly small gap between their bodies, “isn’t what I do with my bros.”

“Really,” Lando chortles. He barely has to duck to kiss the stubble under Dan’s jawline, which is both jarring and adorable. “You’re missing out, brother.”

Laughter bubbles up in Dan’s throat. “Jesus Christ, I’m ten years older than you,” he groans. He unwittingly puts his hands on Lando’s sides anyway, because he’s stupid like that. 

“Wait, let me just...” Lando interrupts. He slides off Dan’s thighs and flails around on a single foot until he gets his shoes off, tossing them across the motorhome. “Who would even make these conksuck boots anyway? They’re really stiff.”

Lando sits back on his lap, and Dan’s kind of ashamed about his excitement. God, he really hopes his boner isn’t that noticeable. “At least they’re good for drinking out of.” 

“Not that you’d know anymore,” Lando teases, poking the Renault diamond emblazoned on Dan’s chest. 

Dan pouts and dramatically splays his hand over his heart. “You hurt me.”

“Sorry,” Lando says, not even remotely apologetic. He drags his hands up Dan’s torso until he finds the zip in the middle of his race suit, opening it to reveal the skintight fireproofs underneath. “You know, it’s not gay if the balls don’t touch.”

“Right,” Dan deadpans, but doesn’t do anything to stop him. He watches in silence as Lando’s fingers move down his abs and over the obvious bulge between his legs.

Lando shoots him a mischievous look.

“Don’t,” Dan warns.

“Wasn’t gonna say anything,” Lando lies. He keeps one hand on Dan’s six-pack and the other on the outline of his dick. “Is this a pistol or are you just happy to see me?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “I wish I had a goddamn pistol,” he grumbles. He lifts his hips so Lando can undress him, tugging several layers of Nomex off at once to finally expose Dan’s cock.

“Nice,” Lando says. “Can I wank you off?”

“Yeah,” Dan says, since he’s not a complete idiot. 

“We’re doing it man,” Lando says. He spits on his hand (gross) and wraps his damp fingers around Dan’s dick (very hot), sliding his foreskin down past the head. “We’re making this happen.”

“How are you so good with your hands,” Dan sighs, holding on to Lando’s waist for dear life. 

“I spend a lot of time on the sim,” he says, free hand skipping over Dan’s balls—thank God, he doesn’t want this to be gay—and onto his perineum in a beautiful display of multitasking ability. Perks of having a thousand hours logged on iRacing, baby. 

“What,” Dan says. “That’s the worst part of—oh, holy _fuck_.”

Lando gently presses the pad of his thumb over Dan’s perineum, a firm pressure that drags a near-delirious sound out of him. “That good?” he asks, a cocksure smirk playing at his lips. He looks _way_ too confident for a skinny kid precariously balanced atop Dan’s thighs, and Dan makes sure to knock him down a notch, grabbing his butt through the race suit so he has more leverage to thrust into Lando’s fist.

“Yeah, it’s pretty alright,” Dan understates, considering he’s on the verge of busting a fat one without any real effort from the other party involved. Lando’s left hand tentatively ghosts lower until it finds his arse, and Dan yields on the spot, willing himself to relax if only to feel the drag of hot skin over his hole, a heady thrill he’s missed. “I’d let you fuck me if it weren’t going to tear me a new one.”

“I can try,” Lando suggests, as if that’s not the worst idea conceived in the history of mankind.

Dan’s eyes almost bulge out of his goddamn skull. “Let’s not do that,” he half yells. After a moment of consideration and realising he’s got nowhere to go but up when it comes to morality, he leans in to whisper, “we can do it later. Pinky promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Lando says. He speeds up his movements, jerking Dan off steadily faster, aided by the (frankly outrageous, but who’s counting) stream of pre gathered at the tip of his cock. “This is taking way too long.”

“That’s what happens when you—fuck—have goddamn _pubes_.”

“You know, you’re really obsessed with my—”

“Yeah, yeah, you might feel some changes in your body but they’re normal,” Dan says, and the stupidest line he’s said in his life punctuates one of the most mind-blowing orgasms he’s experienced. Lando doesn’t let go of Dan’s swollen dick until the last stripe of come dirties his stomach, after which he makes a show of wiping it off with his fingers and sucking on them like a porn star.

Well, that’s what Lando angles for, but he pulls such an unsubtle face of raw disgust, Dan thinks he veers into shitty virus-ridden Czech camboy website territory. He’s polite enough not to mention it, though.

“So?” Lando says, quirking an eyebrow.

Dan has no idea what the protocol is to getting a quality handy from another team’s driver is. He’s pretty fucking sure the FIA sporting handbook doesn’t cover this. “Yes?”

“Did you _like_ it?” Lando asks sheepishly.

“Oh,” Dan says. So this is what that’s about. He doesn’t blame Lando—it’s hard to please a man with such high standards as himself, really. “It was awesome. You’re awesome.”

Lando breaks into a goofy smile Dan can’t possibly resist. “Oh.” Tension ebbs from his shoulders, and he punches Dan’s chest. “Thanks, brother,” he says before promptly passing out, his erection still digging into Dan’s hip.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from [A Very Good Vine](https://vine.co/v/iV5ezhxtwzT) and [Another Very Good Vine](https://vine.co/v/huq9n7jOnWl) respectively.
> 
> Lando’s quotes: if you know, you know. This is what the refrance…


End file.
